Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
