He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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