I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
