you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize