It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
