Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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