and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
