Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
