ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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