A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When are your genitals available?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
