it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
did i walk over a car last night?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
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You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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