Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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