Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
