got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
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I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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