So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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