Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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