What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
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I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
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Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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