I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
