Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
