I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
