At least make sure they are 18
Why
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
