belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
