For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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