I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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