hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
