I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Randomize
