The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
