I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
