Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
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I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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