all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He better not be in your backpack
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
