she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
