She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
