I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
