Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
