WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
