I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"