Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
