I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
meet me or not, i'm out of control
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You did what with his pubic hair?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
