I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
