So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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