you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
