Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
