So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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