I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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