I want to walk on stilts...naked
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize