She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
