I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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