I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
