and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
