did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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