STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
