yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
