Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize