just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
