My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
