Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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