Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So vagazzling was a success
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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