escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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