just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
