I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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