I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
