You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I did not marry a roomba.
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