You really coming over, don't trick.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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