It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
