the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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