I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize