I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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