on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
